jeansinjeans

When I return home for the holidays, I notice a shift in my internal need to see people.

I love college. I am able to walk to food that is already made for me, check my mail, drop it back off at my dorm, say hi to ten friends, & get to class with relative ease. But when I first arrived at college, I was met with some bumps of having the familiarity & social “safety net” I felt I had in high school. I didn’t know anyone, nobody knew me. It was hard to adjust but by the second semester, I had settled in & was ready to go. I have enjoyed college more & more every semester, still meeting new people, becoming closer with many existing friends, & overall being more comfortable with being a human.

I will admit when I come home for the holiday, I lean into my introversion & enjoy my own room & my time & freedom to be alone. I feel very lucky to be at a school where my furthest friend lives a good 8 minute walk away, yet it creates a feeling of obligation to see friends & be productive. If I am in my dorm relaxing, I know very well the library is 5 minutes away, a friend is just outside my door, or a coffee conversation is 3 minutes away. There is almost a social expectation? pressure? to see your friend, be productive, get out into the world. Not a bad thing to feel that calling & push to be out but it gets exhausting & make you feel unproductive or that rest time isn’t a valid way to spend your time.

In contrast, when I am home, a friend is a 20 minute get ready, 10 minute car ride, & 2 hour hang out away. I want to run an errand? I could commit to a 90 minute hang out with my friends or go alone in half the time & enjoy the independance. Though this poses a couple difficulties, the main one I’ve run into problems with this break- scheduling. It seems every time I come home, people are home for less & less time, & are more & more busy.

The time I chose to spend with people when at home is more intentional.

At school, I love running into people, catching up for 10 or 15 minutes & then running to the next thing. But at home, I have the option to rest, to make a blog in a day, to find a solo adventure, or to catch up with a friend. There is lessened pressure to constantly see people or be social. Where one or two outings with others at home seem like a full day, when at school, 40 different interactions seems like a slow day.

I am incredibly grateful to have so many friends at home as well as at school & people who want to see me & make the time & effort to hang out!