jeansinjeans

I love creating fake scenarios in my head & seeing how (I assume) they would play out. Tonight’s scenario started as me trying to figure out the intimidation I feel for the upcoming semester. That turned into things I could say to my professors when I attend their office hours, which ranged from “what research are you currently doing” to “how do I know if I want to major in Soc” to “I don’t really know what to say but I know it’s important to show up.” That lead to me a scenario where I am writing an essay about something that I believe is important, which lead me to turning that into a graduation speech. That then created the beginning of a moving (emotionally moving, not residential or material moving) speech, that has now transitioned into a blog post.

My parents always show up. Every school performance I was in, I never wondered if my parents were there, only where they were. At swim meets when I walked up to the block, all it would take was a quick scan of the parents waiting on the other side to easily spot the hand of my dad, shooting up & waving excitingly back & forth. Every improv match I was in, my parents were there, every open house in elementary school, my parents were there, every day after swim practice, my parents where there. But it wasn’t strictly school events my parents showed up for. Every night I would get home from swim practice or late nights at school, after my parents has eaten, & my dad would always sit with me. I never ate alone. Every time I need to be picked up from a friends house, someone would drive over & get me. Even when I was in the middle of baking something & has forgotten an ingredient, one of my parents would run out & get it so I could finish.

There is so much worth in showing up. It does not require you to bring gifts or to make anything. It is essentially free & is something almost anyone can do. I did choir for the first time since elementary school last semester. My friends came to watch (& my parents) & it meant so much that they remembered & showed up to support me. When people show up for me, I feel loved & valued & that my friends are genuinely excited in what I do & create (or at least excited enough for me) to be there. It shows they care & want me to feel that care & support.

Showing up for others is important but it is important to also show up for yourself. Create the discipline to study & go to the gym (if that is what you want) or discipline to learn a new skill or put yourself out there. Showing up, for yourself or others, shows care & respect, thoughtfulness & value. Showing up (for yourself or others) also build trust & reliability. Sometimes it is the first step in starting something bigger, or even just a first step when you don’t know where to begin.

I learned the importance of showing up from my parents. I hope this is something I carry with me & bring into other parts of my life, especially with my friends. Showing up to events my friends planned or are in, showing up for a celebration or to console, showing up to a game or to lunch plans- it all matters. I hope this upcoming semester I can continue to show up for my friends, but also show up for myself (affirming: I will go to office hours, I will go to office hours, I will go to office hours).

So even if I move out again later today, back to school to finish the year, I still bring the knowledge, lesson, & feeling about the importance of showing up.

& scene.

I don’t think the actual speech would go like that, this was lowk came off as not the well thought out but I just wanted to write what was on my heart & mind!!! Okay I have to wake up early & pack. BYE see you at school.