jeansinjeans

guess what? i made it! can confirm that life continues on past being a teenager. welcome to twenty.

I have great friends.

Every year on my birthday I am still in awe of how great my friends are. This post was inspired by a spam post I just made about my friends. The caption reads:

“I hope this does not come off as bragging (& if it does, SUCKS because I have awesome friends). but genuinely always so in awe of the kindness & love I receive. truly feel sometimes undeserving of such wonderful people & such kind words + wishes but I hope that everyone finds friends that love & cherish them & make them feel loved & seen. I know fully & completely that I am so lucky to have even one, let alone many, friends who are smart & genuine & kind & good people who make me a smart & genuine & kind & good person, & I just hope that everyone has friends as good as mine. & if you don’t, meet some of my friends (:”

The photos included on the posts are a series of 10 texts/posts of some of the messages I got for my birthday.

messages as follows

• happy birthday my lovely jean! you’re such a beautiful light in this world! go eat this year up!
• to love & be loved by jean meyer is a feeling like no other. you are like a good poem- perfect & artistic & lovely & life changing. counting the days, hours, & minutes until i can give you a big squeeze
• happy freeking birthday friend!! im so so grateful that i met you this year you are genuinely such a highlight of my life. You are so funny so gorgeous so kind i literally could not ever think of a more perfect person. Have the BEST DAY EVER!!!!
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN!! YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL STAR & THE SWEETEST FRIEND & I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW GRATEFUL I AM THAT YOURE IN MY LIFE
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOURE THRE MOST AMAZING PERSOM, never be mysterious because too many people want you as their friend
• You are amazing & I love you & I hope you are well & life is good & everything is wonderful
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL!! Hope this new chapter of your life is kind to you
• Happy happy birthday jean!!! U r such a light & an absolute *star emoji*
• Do not know how to repay you or what exactly I can say to you that will equate to how unbelievably loved & special you have made me feel over the past couple years, idk you feel like my little guardian angeel & I am always so happy to talk with you because I love you & I love your life & everything that you think about
• happy birthday miss jeanie i hope your day is as special as you are & i wish i was there to celebrate you! I could write an entire book about how amazing & wonderful & beautiful & angelic & kind you are, but then everyone would want to be friends with you & you would forget about me so I must gatekeep how amazing you are. I will see you so soon AHHH!! I LOVE YOUUUUU HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I really hope the post did not come as bragging but more as a reminder to myself that I am loved & I am surrounded by people around me who love me. I also genuinely hope it shows that everyone deserves to have good friends & good people are out there. Friendships are hard & finding & maintaining them can be challenging. It is also not worth it to settle for mediocre friends who make you feel bad or don’t try to understand you for the sake of having friends. Find people who make you feel seen & like you matter, friends who are unwavering & outspoken about their love. & finding just one good friend can change a lot. That is not to say friends fix everything. There is a whole internal world of you that is important & matters, much more than the opinions of others, even close friends. I try to work on my internal world, put out the love & kindness & gratitude I find & know that it will come back to me in one way or another.

Just like I said above, I hope this reminds people that there is so much love & people are kind. I continue to meet kind & smart & talented people, many of which I am lucky to call my friends.

As I grow & get older, I hope to continue to find people who inspire me & motive me to be better, & I hope that I call those same people my friends because they make me feel seen & heard. I hope I am a good friend to those around & make those around me feel seen & understood & warm.

“To be loved is to be seen”

Is a quote I go back to a lot when I think about how I want to show up as a friend to those around me as well as when I feel either loved or not. There are so so so many ways to be a good friend, but I believe one way is just to make others feel like they are a person & they matter. There is so much nuance & complexity & specificity when it comes to individual friendships & relationships but put most simply, people want to be loved (seen).

I have dealt also with my fair share of not-so-great friends, especially at the beginning of college. They were not bad people, they just didn’t treat me the way I wanted my friends to but it took me a while to realize this. (I wrote more about this a few days ago in LTMT page titled “judgement”). I eventually found more people that aligned better with what I want in friends & who allow me to show up as the friend I want to be.

To loopback, I have so many favorite people & good people & smart & funny & beautiful & artistic & kind people that I call my friends. Everyone deserves good friends. & as long as there are people, there are friends. & I am so happy to be friends with anyone, & if not me, I have many of friends who would love to meet anyone & everyone.